This is my last blog, so I better talk about how my PGCE journey has been overall. I started this course feeling a bit like a fish out of water. I remember during my first week, hearing about other people’s teaching experiences and wondering why I was admitted to do the course in the first place. If someone were to write a book about my life, it would be filled with stories of how I am faced with huge challenges and I always come out a shining star in the end. With PGCE on the other hand, I have felt many times that this is one challenge that might end in failure.
It started with me not getting a placement on time. By the time I started my placement, the others were already well ahead. I got little or no observation and I was literally thrown into teaching on my very first day. This of course had a negative impact on my teaching, especially because I come from an educational background where teacher talk was about 90% of the lesson.
I had some bad feedback after my first couple of observations which made me consider giving up. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I don’t want any failures registered in my biography. Things took a turn for the better when my tutor suggested that I do some team teaching with a friend of mine. This was like providing me with the observation I never had but desperately needed. My third observation feedback was very good and it made me more confident in my abilities.
I am very glad for the people that I have met during this journey, especially the lovely Joanna, who, I’m hoping is going to be a friend for life. She has been there every step of the way and I hope I have been as good a friend to her as she has been to me.
I’m still developing as a teacher, let’s face there’s no perfect teacher out there and no matter how good you are, there’s always room for improvement. I guess it’s time to hit the job market and hope that there's a job for me out there…
I’ve just been to my GP and he thinks I might have anaemia. Well, I’m not surprised because I have been working myself too too hard. Not that I want to, but I have left my work to pile up till the last minute and I am now paying the price for it. I have about 8,000 words to hand in next Friday, and I am ashamed to say that I have only written about 500 words.
PBI poster is done and dusted, thank God! It’s time to write the 4,000 words essay and I am finding it really hard to start writing. I’m sure once I start writing, I’ll be fine. I have done the research, only that putting it all into writing is proving difficult. This is perhaps owing to the fact that I spend about two hours a day on facebook, work forty hours a week and let’s not forget that I’m also a full-time mum. I know these are all excuses, but it does make me feel better when I think about all the responsibilities I have (not including facebook of course) and how I have managed to cope with this programme. I think I deserve a medal at the end, assuming that I finish all the work before me.
This is the end bit now, so I better man up, or should I say woman up, and do what I have to do in order to graduate. I know it’s going to be one long and tough week, but I’m sure I’m up to the task.
It’s the final term of this course and one half of each session in the term is going to be dedicated to seminars. I have asked to go last because it is taking me so long to decide on a topic to speak about.
The seminars have been brilliant so far. We were given the option to choose topics under two broad umbrellas. We can either focus on English for specific purposes or on learners’ needs. For me, the seminars about learners’ needs have been very enlightening. They have given me the opportunity to see that the role of a teacher goes beyond just going into the classroom and delivering a session.
The seminars have focused on issues that learners bring with them to the classroom and how they could have either a positive or negative impact on the learners’ motivation.
During my seminar, I focused on domestic violence. I spoke about how the ESOL classroom is likely to consist of students who are facing one form of abuse or the other and what the teacher’s role should be. This role could vary from just being a little bit more sensitive to providing information and creating awareness. I was very surprised to find out that most institutions do not have things like posters and leaflets which create awareness about domestic violence. We tried, as a group to come up with ways that we could include information about domestic violence in our sessions and some of my course mates had some very interesting ideas.
The seminar went very well. I was very nervous, but I still managed to pass my message across without falling apart.
Yes I do hate public speaking, I hate being the centre of attention and I hate when I’m in a group and the focus is on me. Why did I become a teacher then? I’m sure I sound a quite confused and you’re probably wondering where this is coming from. I’ll enlighten you.
It all started when I opened the new module handbook and there it was… the word “seminar”. I’m supposed to talk for 15 minutes on a topic which I’ve read about and find very interesting. The first thing that comes to my mind is if I could possibly refuse to do it. Having a phobia for public speaking has got to be a good enough excuse. One tiny problem though. I can just imagine what my tutor will say. She’ll probably say… “Funke, you teach 12 hours a week, there’s no way you can do that if have a phobia for speaking in public”. I guess I have no choice but do the seminar
The thing is teaching for me is very different from doing a seminar. When I teach, I don’t really get nervous (unless of course I’m being observed). Also, the students are very involved and it’s not really about me. I also derive a lot of pleasure from knowing that I’m helping my students. Giving a talk or doing a seminar is a whole different ball game for me. I find it very difficult to string words together when I’m placed in such situations I just can’t stop myself from being nervous.
I have finally decided on a topic that for me is very close to home. I’m hoping that the experience I have in this area will help me to be confident when I’m giving my talk.
So here comes my third chance to impress my tutor. I’m pretty sure very few people get third chances in the real world, but a fourth chance, possibly non-existent. After all that team teaching, I’m hoping I’ve learnt something positive to apply to my own practice and I’m hoping some of my colleague’s charm has rubbed off on me.
As usual, I have left my lesson planning until the last minute, well some things never change, but I have a good idea about what I’m going to do, let’s just say I have lesson planned in my head. It’s got speaking, visuals, peer learning activities, the whole lot; all I need to do now is sit down and put it on paper.
The time finally comes, and as usual, there are one or two setbacks. I have two students in my class that I wasn’t expecting, but I won’t let that ruin my lesson. I have decided to have fun and smile the whole time. The resources worked really well and the students really engaged in the activities.
The feedback from the tutor was very good. She commented on how much I had developed as a teacher since the last time she saw me and how I was on the right path. Of course there are still some targets for development, but at least I there lots of positives. I hope things continue like this, especially as we are coming to the end of this journey. One more observation from the uni tutor and it’s all over. I hope I get even better feedback.
After the second uni observation which ended in tears was done, my lovely friend and I have decided to team teach our classes for a couple of weeks. I’m sure we both have lots to learn from each other. For one, I know I need to develop strategies on how to get my students to engage in long conversations, and I need to use more visuals for my lower level students, especially as I can’t draw.
We decide to meet up at our local library to plan our lessons. Our first lesson planning together was so easy and took less time. Two heads are indeed better than one, although I hope those two head won’t be bumping into each other during the actual session.
The session went really well. I realise that it’s not that hard to get the students to talk and I seem to have been preoccupying myself with whether the students are listening to each other or not. I realise that as a teacher, my duty is to give each student an opportunity to talk and also to encourage them to make longer conversations. The listening aspect is important but shouldn’t be my focus. The students also have to take responsibility for their learning.
My one fear going into team teaching was that it might spoil our friendship, but it has rather brought us closer together and this has definitely been the highlight of my PGCE journey.
Now, let’s hope some of this experience translates to my own practice and I have a glowing review after my next observation.
Well, well, well! It's that time again. My tutor is coming to observe me again and I’m not looking forward to it at all. This is to be expected, after the disaster that was my first observation. Well, I better stop moaning because I have no choice, it’s all part of the PGCE journey. I have decided to adopt the same style I used with my mentor observation, just to be on the safer side, especially as I got really good feedback from it. One little problem though: my mentor and my tutor seem to have completely different advice for me as to how to develop my practice. Oh well, my mind is made up, no turning back now.
Observation day comes and surprise surprise! Only two students turn up and one of them is a new student. I really have no idea as to how fluent or literate she is so that’s definitely going to be a problem. My tutor is coming to observe the seecond hour of the session so I spend the first hour trying to figure out what do do with this new student. For one, she refuses to engage in conversation with the other student who is very fluent but not very literate. She seems to be only interested in writing.
When my tutor finally comes in, I decide to focus that hour on writing…bad decision! In her feedback, the tutor says that I didn’t give the students a chance to do any speaking and I just went straight from one writing task to the next. I am quite emotional, at this point because I feel like I cant win no matter what I do. My tutor suggests that my I do some team teaching with my lovely friend who is also doing her placement in the same place. She seems to think there’s a lot we could learn from each other and I am sure she’s right.
It’s Wednesday and I’m expecting my
University tutor to come and observe me. I’m nervous as usual. I was awake for
most of the night. I just hope today goes well. It’s my E2 class which usually
only consists of four students and that’s a little bit scary. I keep thinking
what if none of my students turn up, or what if only one student comes. I’ve
planned for four and my resources are all sorted. I’ll just have to hope for
the best. If no one turns up, I’ll just
ask the tutor to pretend that she’s a student and we’ll just carry on. I hope
we don’t have to do that though.
The class starts at 10a.m and by 10 past 10,
I still only have one student. The tutor makes it clear that she’s not happy
for me to start with just one, so we just wait. Another student walks in at
10:15 so I make a start with 2 students. At 10:25, 2 other students arrive and
I literally have to start the session all over again. I start with a recap of
what we had done previously and the students just stare at me like I’m speaking
Greek. They obviously can’t remember anything. I’m quite confused as to what to
do at this point because I’ve only allocated 10 minute to the recap in my
session plan., but I don’t feel comfortable going to the day’s topic if the
students can’t remember what we’ve done before.
In her report, the tutor comments that my
confidence has greatly increased since the last time she saw me teach and she
liked the rapport between the students and me. She complained however, that I
didn’t stick to my plan and I diverted a lot. She also wasn’t happy that there
was too much teacher talk going on and advised me to let the students do more
of the talking. I thought her feedback was very fair and useful and I can only
hope she’ll see lots of improvement by my next observed lesson.
I’ve taken my mentor’s advice and it seems
to be the solution to all the problems I’ve been having with my E1 class. I’ve
started to make my own resources and when I’m short of time, I just simplify
whatever ready-made resources I want to use. I wonder why never thought about doing
this before. Well, it’s all part of the learning process. I feel confident
enough going into the next observation. This time, I plan my lesson and choose
my resources very carefully. I know I can’t afford to mess up this time as
there’s no such thing as a third chance.
The lesson starts off very nicely. The students
are very eager to talk about their weekends and they interact even better than
they’ve done in the past. The resources are simple but at the same time very
relevant to the students’ level. I keep checking my mentor’s face to see if I
can get any clues as to what’s on her mind, but her face is pretty much
expressionless, so no clues whatsoever. Well, I’ll just have to wait. I feel
the session is going really well and the activities are very successful. I am
quite confident that I’ll get a glowing review at the end.
At the end of the session, my mentor makes
a statement that I’m sure I’ll remember for the rest of my life, or the rest of
my teaching career (whichever comes first). She says she couldn’t find anything
wrong with the session. I’m ecstatic! I have my university tutor coming to
observe me tomorrow so this is just the confidence boost I need.
It’s week 5 of my placement and I’m
struggling with my E1 students a little bit. They have very low literacy, both
in English and in their first languages so it’s been quite a struggle for me to
find the right materials to help improve their reading. What I’ve found so far
is either too difficult for them or more suitable for children. At this point,
I wish I had done more observation before being thrown into teaching my on
class. Even though I’m struggling, I have asked my mentor to observe me anyway.
The worst that could happen is that she’ll fail me. At least might be able to
point me in the right direction.
During the observed session, I can see that
my mentor is not very impressed and she keeps saying that the materials are too
difficult for the students. I wish she would just keep that thought to herself
until after the session because the students stop trying hard with the reading and
at one point, one of them echoes my mentor and says it’s too hard.
At the end of the session, my mentor calls
me for a chat. I know it’s going to be bad news, but I’m just a little bit
angry at how she kept interfering throughout the session. She says she’s not going to record the
observation and we arrange another observation for next week. She advises me to find materials that’ll be
simple enough for this group, and if I can’t, I should think about making my
own resources. Well, good idea, but where on earth am I going to find the time
for that in my already too busy schedule? Well, something’s got to give. I need
to start preparing for next week.
It’s the Friday before reading week and I’ve
just borrowed about eight books from the library .I feel so guilty because I’m
pretty sure I’m not going to open all of these books and there’s probably
someone who really needs them. Still, it feels nice carrying so many books. My
daughter is also off school and she written a list of activities she wants to
do during the half-term week. I have my driving test on Wednesday and I’m
really worried, especially as I failed one just two weeks ago. I just hope I
pass, because I’m sure I’ll be very depressed if I don’t pass and that’s not
going to help my reading in anyway.
Wednesday comes and I pass my driving test,
yay!!! Time to celebrate. My daughter and I go for a meal in a Chinese
restaurant and then to the cinema for a movie. As I’m about to go to bed, I
remember that I have not done any reading so far. Well, I can always start
tomorrow.
It’s Sunday and I can’t believe how the
week has flown past without me actually getting any reading done. Reading week
has been more like resting week, and to make matters worse, I have five library
books that are overdue and the charge keeps increasing every day. Well, may
that’s my punishment for depriving people who actually really need the books. Oh well, I’ll just make good use of my Sunday
night. That should suppress this feeling of guilt. As soon as my daughter falls
asleep, I do my session plans for the next week and I manage to read to
chapters of one of the many library books I borrowed. I finally go to bed at
about 3a.m with some peace of mind. At least I have something to say at show
and tell, oops the seminar(sorry).
It's week three at my placements and I'm finally adjusting to being a teacher. I have my schemes of work sorted and everything is going according to plan. It's still only four hours but, I'm still hoping for a miracle. After my class on Wednesday, my mentor give me the best news ever! She's offering me four more teaching hours in the other place where she teaches in Cardiff. I'll have to first check with my course tutor that it's alright. I ask my tutor and she says it's absolutely fine. To say I'm ecstatic would be an understatement.This is officially the best week ever. With my schemes of work done, session planning has been so easy.
My mentor has asked me to come to the new place for observation. It's only thirty minutes walk for where I leave, so I don't bother taking the car. I get to the place and it's massive! It's every ESOL teacher's dream. 10000 students and 500 more on the waiting list. The resource room is packed with materials like I've never seen before. I'm so grateful for this opportunity. It's absolutely priceless. I meet the students and they're just lovely. There are 15 students in my class, triple the ones at my other place my other placement. The miracle I've been praying for has finally happened and it's even better than I expected. So with four more teaching hours I can now sleep well at night, right after a finish worrying about the amount of course work I have to do.
Even though it wasn't really what I planned to do, the session was still quite brilliant. We started with a game of "I spy" which was a really nice warmer. It was fun, but at the same time, it had a learning angle to it because it served as a bit of a spelling exercise. During the game, I noticed that some of the students couldn't recognise most of the letters of the English Alphabet. I was quite taken aback by this as some of the have the speaking and listening exam next week and they couldn't even spell their names right.
I ignored the lesson plan for about three-quarters of an hour and decided to do alphabets instead. I asked the students to come up with at least two words for each alphabet. "X" and "Q" were, as usual, difficult to make words with, but the other letters were fine. We went on to do the planned topic. Over all, the students were very keen and participatory. I'm glad it all went well at the end of the day, especially considering the setbacks I encountered in the morning.
I still intend to teach what I had earlier planned, but I'll wait till I have my scheme of work sorted. Thankfully, I don't have any more planning to do for the rest of the week as the students only have to practise for their speaking exams. I hope to be able to draw up a functional scheme of work by the end of next week.
Finally, the moment I've been waiting for since the beginning of the course has arrived. I finally get to teach my own class. I have everything planned. My session plan, the resources, and even a nice warmer to break the ice. I'm not sure how many students I'll have though, but I've planned for at least six. Time to print my resources and session plan. Oh great! Printer not working! After fiddling with it for about two hours with no success, I remember that I'm a teacher, not an engineer. I give up and make a note to attach my resources to my e-mail.I'm sure I can print them out at my placement.
It's Tuesday morning and my class is at 10a.m. I get my daughter ready for school and I try the nanny's number to let her know I'm on my way. She doesn't answer. I keep trying for about thirty minutes, still no answer. Okay, I'll just head to her house and hope she's there. I get to the nanny's house and she's not there. It's already quarter to nine so I resolve to take my daughter to school myself, meaning that I won't leave Cardiff until after nine o clock. I arrive at the community centre at exactly quarter to ten and I realise that I haven't attached my materials to my e-mail as I planned. Only a miracle can save me now!
I log on to the computer and somehow, I manage to create another lesson plan in ten minutes, no warmer/ice-breaker though. I show the lesson plan to my mentor and she approves it. I can now breathe!
After such a long wait, I
finally have a placement, yay! It's only four hours a week for now, but at
least I have a shot at graduating after all. My mentor had planned for me
to just observe in week one, but thanks to the bad weather conditions,
that didn't happen. I was praying for a snowfall in Cardiff, but I now
officially hate the snow. Come week two and the students at the community
centre have to practise for their speaking and listening exams. This has proved
to be a blessing in disguise for me because it means extra teaching hours. I
have been asked by my mentor to help out some weak students and this definitely
counts towards my teaching hours. Maybe there’s hope for me afterall.
I've finally been assigned my own class, but it's not as easy as I
thought it would be. I have to draw up a scheme of work and the proprietress
has also asked that I submit every lesson plan to her. I wish I knew what she
needs them for. I also need to come up with lots of activities if don't
want to bore my students within the first few weeks. I’m always ready for a
challenge so I think I’ll be fine. I will keep you guys posted on my progress.
I do hope that a miracle happens and I get more hours, otherwise, I might have
to keep teaching way after everyone else has graduated. I'll just try to keep
being positive. Positive energy they say works wonders.